Things That Make Me Nervous about Clothes Shopping

Obviously there are worse things to worry about, but actually, that kind of shopping doesn’t make me nervous, though when it does, this goes through my mind:

“I thought I had everything and now I need to do this again!”

clueless1

“Do I even know what I want? They probably don’t sell that anymore. Where should I go? I’m tired already, I don’t want to go anywhere. Where do I even start? That other outfit doesn’t feel like ME. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.”

clueless2

“Everyone else looks so goal-oriented and purposeful. Where did that girl find that top? Why didn’t I see it? Her pile of clothes looks so much better than mine. I bet she can tell what I’m thinking. Why is it so crowded in here? I want to leave and I’m not even finished. Maybe some telepathic sarcasm will help, how about this?”

clueless3

“Oh, God, I will not get out of not trying this on, because if I buy it and it doesn’t fit, I will have to come back here, and I don’t want to come back, I’m barely dealing as it is. When did this become my current reality? I have to go to the changing room. I don’t want to go to the changing room. There’s a line. There’s loud shouts of the ever classic, “Does my butt look big in this?” from behind partly open curtains. There’s endless standing in socks in front of the full-length mirror at the end of the hall, tags danling everywhere. There’s long-suffering boyfriends and husbands not quite knowing what to say and still valiantly trying to say something. It’s A MESS. Go to the changing room?”

clueless4

“Three different assistants have asked me if I they could help me. I need to get out of here right now.”

clueless5

 

 

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