Things You Tell Yourself in Your Thirties

Oh, glorious time…

Well, that’s one of the things you tell yourself, definitely. Love that movie! And it is a glorious time, like any other decade is special for its own reasons. Some other things popping into your head might be the following…

Hey, wait, I DON’T have to listen to this BS anymore!

What a load of crap, I’m outta here.

What. A. Jerk.

**** it.

Have money, will travel.

Don’t have money, will go on a day trip.

Will save money!

DANCEFLOOR!

It was never my fault.

Still gotta do the laundry…and it’s fine.

Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is laundry.

Do it now.

I’m in control, I’m totally in control, I’m so in control…OK, I’m not…I think I’ll just eat some chocolate and think about it later.

Roof over head, check. Payed off all the furniture buys, check. Have friends who like to paint walls, check. Have a tried and tested pizza place to call after aforementioned painting job, check.

I love my bed.

I love glitter.

I love a lot of people.

Wait, why is everyone so worried about their 30s, again?

 

 

 

 

From the Women in My Life

Happy International Women’s Day! March 8 has always been a part of my life. If you have Russian roots or even spent part of your life in Russia, you’ll know that this day is a national holiday over there. I confess that disclosing said fact to people I meet in Hamburg after I moved still brings me immense pleasure, mostly because the majority had no idea. Wait, International Women’s Day is a state holiday in Russia? Yes, indeed!

So what happens on the day? Well, you’ll congratulate your mother, grandmother(s), aunt(s), sister(s), female friends, favorite female teacher(s), maybe buy some flowers and chocolate for them, though depending on your age and financial options, you might also do some DIY. Then men in your life will do some of the aforementioned, too. No worries, they also get a special mention.

March 8 isn’t the only day of the year I think about the women in my life and what they’ve given me, the woman I myself have become, am becoming. But it’s a nice occasion to share some quotes and gems (sources shall remain anonymous to protect the adorable and lovingly remembered).

The best way to preserve an item of clothing is to wear it.

I just keep tissues, band-aids and gum in every handbag.

The best package to arrive next weekend is you.

Trust, but check (Russian proverb.)

We have power!

Shoulders straight.

She is here! (about oneself when entering a room.)

“Constant vigilance!” Thank you, Professor Moody, my family are all fans.

“Just in cases.” Thank you, Spanglish.

When someone created stupidity, they created enough.

It’s not luck, it’s work.

Knock on wood! (Russians actually knock on wooden surfaces.)

Don’t worry.

The world at large doesn’t care.

Well, here’s what I have to say: HAHAHA.

And finally…

Of course I talk to myself. It’s nice to talk to an intelligent person.

 

 

Things Told to Me…That Weren’t True!

Maybe you’ve heard a few of these gems as well?

You need to be louder, otherwise people will put you in a box.

You should really speak up, no one can hear you.

You’re too quiet.

You’re very quiet.

You’re really quiet.

You shouldn’t be so shy.

You should be less reserved.

You shouldn’t be so reserved.

You really need to come out of your shell.

Your writing style just doesn’t work.

You can’t wear that color.

I love this, so you (everyone) have (has) to!

I guess that was really easy for you.

You’re so lucky, it’s easy for you.

You’ve never had any problems.

Maybe you’re too picky.

You should drink more.

Well, the thing with the place you come from…Ah no, wait, different blog post.

 

 

 

Things You Say to Yourself in Your Twenties

…when you think you’ve suddenly got it all figured out. Or you feel like you don’t have to. But some of the things on your mind are…

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

OK, I thought the zit thing was over. This is really unfair.

This university thing is scary, but I’m not gonna tell anyone. How am I going to get a job with this degree? What am I going to do? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

Wow, moved into a dorm. Gonna pay rent and all. I’m so mature.

All those internships want someone experienced, but how am I supposed to gain experience if no one will hire me? Why won’t they let me get experience? How am I going to get a job later? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

They say exams are tough, but the studying really sucks. I hate waiting.

Oh my God, my first post-graduation job. When did it come to this?

MY FIRST PAYCHECK IT HAS MY NAME ON IT.

Where did the last three months go? I’m so tired.

Ran into Eyelashes the other day and was surprised I even recognized him. I’ve totally moved on. Also, his eyelashes are not that long, after all.

I totally know what I want in a man.

I have no clue what I want in a man.

I want to travel the world NOW.

I don’t have enough money to travel the world NOW.

Hey, look at me giving advice to a teenager!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things You Tell Yourself in Your Teens

…which might not necessarily be true or beneficial, but hey, how else are you supposed to find out?

That hairstyle is a really good idea AND I WANT IT NOW.

Oh my God, what did I do!

EVERYONE is wearing * insert item of clothing or accessory here * AND I WANT IT NOW.

All the boys like that girl and I hate her.

The boy I like likes that girl and I hate her even more.

Maybe I should try to be MORE LIKE HER! Even if I don’t know what she’s really like and what I’m like, BUT ENOUGH HOW CAN I BE MORE LIKE HER.

I want my school to do a real prom like in * insert title of most recently watched non-horror U.S. teen prom movie here *.

I WANT TO GO TO PROM.

When I go to prom, I’m going to start a She’s All That dance-off with moves I’ve never tried before, but I see them all in my head and there’s the movie, so who cares.

What do you mean, stiletto sandals are hard to walk in?

Monday again.

That boy has such long eyelashes.

Nobody will ever understand me.

His eyelashes are so long.

EVERYONE was so fussed about this party, but it’s actually really boring…and Eyelashes isn’t even here.

I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING LEAVE ME ALONE NOTHING’S WRONG.

More Things People Say to You When You’re a Redhead

There was a time when I naively thought I had listed all the possible comments I could get. I also thought I had caught the main season for getting those reactions. But no! Because there is no season, the fun continues!

Bild von Lorri Lang auf Pixabay

Have you ever thought about dying your eyebrows?

No.

It’s just they are lighter towards the edge.

Yes.

And it would be a more harmonious transition if you dyed them.

I like them as they are.

Do you ever fill them in? With a pencil?

No (resisting the impulse to add I only use pencils for note-taking, even if I know perfectly well what is meant).

Hey, wow, you’re REALLY fair!

Been there.

Yeah, I wouldn’t have dared to wear that lipstick, but somehow it does work on you, even though I guess it can get tricky, with your coloring?

Meh.

You should use sunscreen EVERY day.

SO SHOULD YOU.

Does anyone else in your family look like this?

MOM!

That’s your sister? The one with the dark hair? Your real sister?

MOM!

Wow, your mother looks so different from you, can’t believe you two are related.

MOM!

I’d say you’re more a strawberry blonde than a redhead, though.

And I really wouldn’t say anything.

No way, your hair is NOT red. You’re NOT a redhead. You’re, like, NOT ginger.

 

 

 

When You’re Siberian

For the most part, you…

Wear a hat when it’s colder, especially in winter, because, at least for me, piling up a scarf or a snood up to my ears, shoulders hunched, stepping in place at a bus stop is just not my look.

Don’t ride a bike after it snowed. Since I can’t get used to the sight of this after 11 years in Europe, I probably never will. A colleague of mine broke her leg cycling on icy pavement and once again I asked myself, why do this after Elsa clearly had her way with Let It Go on your street?

Have a built-in winter radar. You know when to layer up and when to pack it all away (only not too far, Hamburg is a city where you may need these layers any day).

Divide the year in two seasons: with snow and without (homegrown wisdom).

Barely use heating once you discover you’re in total control of turning it on, unlike back in the homeland.

Conscious of slippery surfaces underfoot in ANY season due to annual prolonged winter ice exposure. The careful step is an inner setting, ready to be switched on at a moment’s notice.

Aren’t immune to cold, but you’ll still meet plenty of people who will ask you if it’s “like summer” for you on a colder day.

Enjoy saying “I don’t find it that cold, just the wind has changed,” and mean it, too.

Know that not all your countrymen and women are obsessed with winter sports and activities.

Consider 1,5-hour flights similar to taking the bus, since flying from one city to another within Russia may take as long as 4 hours, maybe more.

Get used to the following questions once you say you’re from Siberia specifically:

But it’s in Russia, right?

Do you speak a different language there?

Is it that place where it’s really cold?

Is it dark all the time?

Is it close to Vladivostok?

Where exactly does the Transsiberian railroad run through?

But it’s really far away, right?

Where is it?

How come you speak such good (insert language here)?

Why don’t you have a Russian accent? / I can’t place your accent.

Can you go outside in winter?

Are you from a village?

Sometimes I relax my rules of polite conversation and remembering that it’s not a given person’s fault they are asking me something I’ve already been asked by other people they don’t know an x number of times, and tell the obvious truth…that I grew up in a forest. But that’s a story for another blog post.