Ten Things You Can’t Help Doing While Standing in Line

Looking at the back of the heads of the two people in front of you and wondering what they would say if they knew what the backs of their heads looked like. Most likely they wouldn’t be impressed either.

Wondering what the back of your own head looks like.

Making eye contact and then wishing you hadn’t.

Noticing the rack of somewhat ugly congratulatory cards near you and trying to decide which one to get if this was the only place you could ever buy cards from.

Getting an itch.

Scratching the itch (getting creative, depending on where the itch is located).

Reliving the embarassing encounter with your former university professor over and over again in your mind. Wondering why that particular stumbling block of a word had to come back as you crossed paths after five years.

Staring at random things like the scarf of the lady in front of you or the stuffed animal in the hands of the kid beside her (stop staring!).

Listening to snatches of conversation that are fascinating only in this point of time and space: “No, it didn’t fit me, but I just pulled it over my stomach as best as I could”, “That dude over there is so ugly”, “People are such pigs“, “Dad, Mom is better at shopping than you are”.

Feeling an elated sense of accomplishment when the wait is OVER.

 

 

 

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