So obviously it’s winter and I’ve been reading quite a lot, though I do that generally. Make that regularly. No, wait, all the time! My reading speed and output (number of finished books) also increases dramatically if I have no internet. I morph from a bookworm to a book-dragon. I burn, baby, burn.

I recently came home one evening to discover that my Wi-Fi wasn’t working at all. Anywhere or on anything. The horror. I had to actually phone people.

While waiting for the problem to be fixed, I came up with lots of ideas on how to fill the time (I’m not someone who doesn’t know what to do otherwise, I do have a life outside of watching YouTube, for God’s sake!).

1. The aforementioned reading. If you have a list of books you wanted to read, use it. If a book has been lying around on your nightstand like a neglected sandwich, open it. It will not smell and you will experience a sense of achievement, even if you’ll get to read a few pages before the internet switches back on. No, seriously, reading is important and an experience all on its own, regardless of the internet.
2. Get rid of old, unnecessary things, like the weird present you got at last year’s Secret Santa (or Schrottwichteln in German. Schrott means crap).
3. Take out the trash – there’s always trash.
4. Do one household activity you strongly dislike and be reconfirmed regarding your dislike of said activity.
5. Stream something. Oh… OK. Pop in a DVD. Do you own DVDs?
6. Inscribe and sign birthday cards with creative messages of your own unique invention.
7. Cook! Eat! Food!
8. Get a colouring book.
9. Get some air. Outside of the internetless air of your apartment.
10. Talk to the real people in your life. They will understand your pain.