Things People Say to You When You’re Tall

Disclaimer: in this case, by “people” I mean almost strangers, unfamiliar or mildly disliked colleagues, short-term acquaintances, random party or bar/cafĂ©/ restaurant/ shopping encounters, dreaded guests at family reunions or birthday celebrations and creepy short guys spread out across the world.

Second disclaimer: the creepy short guys are creepy because they are creepy, not because they are short.

They like to Captain Obvious you:

You’re tall!

Wow, you’re tall!

You’re really tall!

But you’re so tall!

You’re a tall woman!

Hello, tall woman, beautiful woman!

Such a big woman!

When you’re wearing heels:

Wow, you’re even taller today!

Something’s different about you…

You’re wearing heels? Why? Aren’t you already tall enough?

I admire your confidence.

Are you worried about being taller than men you meet?

Wow, you sure like shoes, don’t you?

If the conversation turns to dating and love (usually initiated by other people):

You won’t be able to wear heels if you date a shorter guy (cue unsolicited opinion and insulting non-shallow men everywhere).

I guess it’s hard to meet men?

I guess it’s hard to meet men taller than you?

So you want to date a tall guy, right? And he should be taller than you?

But how will he kiss you if you’re taller than him?

I’m sure I’ll find a way…

 

 

 

 

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