Dreams and the Day Job

For those in that position…

Does everyone, as a child, imagine what they will be like when they grow up? What they will look like as a working person, doing something? Or even not only as a child, but at different times. So often “Who do I want to be?” equals “What do I want to do?” Which is naturaI, because also through doing you become more of your own person.

Plus, how else does it work?

(Or you do things for a while and then realize you don’t really know anything, nor will you know EVERYTHING FOREVER AND RIGHT NOW, but you know enough for this moment and that’s fine.)

In your mind, especially in your teens, when you’re not a kid anymore, but also not an adult with some quantity of experiences and years allowing you to look back, gain perspective, you end up planning it all out in your head. This is the dream, this is what I can do to get there, here’s the research. Sometimes it’s more a list of questions than a plan, in varying internal tones of seriousness or worry. You might set yourself time frames, because not only are you extremely eager and ready, as you think, to get where you want, you also want to get out of wherever you are now.

Through various circumstances relating to the practicalities of life, geography, relocation, money, concentrating on an education and those first part-time jobs, just to name a few factors, and work, work, work to know as much as possible about what sets what YOU want to do apart, that time plan, those earlier images might be somewhat different in reality.

But are they? OK, maybe getting that degree took longer, but you wanted it and you had a lot of support while you were at it. Maybe you met your best friend during those few years. Maybe that first internship that wasn’t directly connected to writing, in the beginning, was the first foray into working in a medium that would turn out to accompany you for the next four years in various (very educational) internships before you landed the day job. Maybe you learned a lot of other things (the workings of an office universe) before that first internship led to a lengthy translating and writing stint in two languages you originally didn’t expect to work in, or even imagine you’d have fun with. Maybe that other assignment at that next job that friends don’t believe you about when you tell them now taught you how to concentrate on getting the job done correctly no matter the subject matter.

Having a day job and being a creative person have been two elements perfectly capable of combination for centuries, even if it’s sometimes a challenge. It doesn’t hurt the dream to have a framework of stability and it certainly helps it grow. I’d say it even feeds it and there are so many conclusions, discussions, thoughts, ideas I may not have arrived at for those joyful creative hours otherwise. All of that makes what I create more relatable, at least to me, which is where it all starts anyway. In turn, the creativity feeds the day job and prevents me from taking myself too seriously, or helps during difficult moments, by just mentally stepping away and thinking for a moment, “This could be good for a story or a blog post.” Whatever it is doesn’t always end up in a story or blog post. Sometimes it ends up on a spoon tucked into an evening bowl of ice cream, but that’s not so bad, either.

So maybe the packaging is different, but the contents are the same. There isn’t just one way to do things anymore.

Or, as my mother says, don’t overanalyze and go for it.