I give what might be advice exceptionally rarely (family philosophy that turned out to be my thing as well, something all my friends know), but I was intrigued by the idea of imagining what I would say to my 18-year-old self if I got the chance. As my Granny told me once when I asked her if she was talking to herself, “But of course, it’s nice to talk to an intelligent person.” I was also inspired, among other blog posts and pieces I’d read, by this article published on Edition F in German. Here goes.

Dear 18-year-old Zhenya,

If you’re not ready to move away from or move out of the home you grew up in, and NO ONE is pressuring you to do it, stop pressuring yourself just because you’re “of age”.

Yes, you will go places. Please be patient and don’t doubt yourself.

You don’t have to know right now where you’re going to work and how it will all play out.

Sure, it’s a big disappointment that scholarship didn’t work out. It’s OK, though, it was just one of so, so many.

Continue to look for sensible jobs where you can earn money between the ones that you do for the experience. Save up – it will always come in good use. It’s important to be able to provide for yourself.

Not everyone your age has to understand or accept your views for them to continue being acceptable and understandable for you.

Still, don’t preach or explain, just stick with your principles.

Ignore the aunt repeating you need to cut ten inches off your hair to make it prettier. It’s already pretty.

The people who laughed at you for not getting drunk, and you will meet a lot of them in the following years, are stupid. Go talk to that nice girl from your German class instead.

Trust your gut, always.

I’m proud of you for leaving situations you were uncomfortable in. Just because seemingly “everyone” is doing something, doesn’t mean you have to.

That guy was worth more laughs than tears.

There’s nothing wrong with you, that girl was just jealous and she’s not your friend.

Write, write, write, whatever you like, as much as you like, type it up, write it down, scribble it, journal about it, designate special notebooks, submit it somewhere, send it out, share it with people you trust, JUST WRITE, WOMAN.

You’ll be glad you spent your teens without this thing called social media. Yes, you’ll find out what it is, and I trust you.

You’re not being overly sensitive, picky, emotional or immature – you’re facing a bully without empathy who is refusing to accept responsibility for their actions and doesn’t care about your feelings. Walk away, you have better things to do.